All in God’s timing

I am going to admit something to you.
I applied to be on a reality dating television show through a major cable network. Yeah, I know. Hah!
I made it to the semi final round of callbacks before I called it quits. I had some reservations about doing the show. I wasn’t sure that it would be good for my acting career, I wasn’t sure that I actually wanted to find my potential mate or if I wanted the money and I was concerned that they would take advantage of me being a Christian and portray me through crafty editing as a “crazy Christian.” I am not a crazy Christian. Just so you know. Haha!
I had been going back and forth with my decision to go forward with the show and it was crunch time. I was to meet with producers within a couple days. I got to church that Sunday and decided to ask God one last time. “Should I do this show??”

No.

It swept over me. I could feel it in the depths of my heart and soul. I said, “Okay, God. I want you to be my provider and my matchmaker. I will not do the show.”

A couple weeks later I get a call from the Artistic Director of the playhouse back home asking me if I wanted to audition for their next show. I said, “Sure!” Then a week or two after that I found out that I got the job and I would be away from the city for five weeks.

Well, as soon as I found out I posted on Facebook that I needed someone to sublet my room for those five weeks. In less than a minute, possibly even less than thirty seconds, I had found someone.

If I hadn’t obeyed God’s instructions I would have never gotten to spend time with my mom for her last five weeks on earth. All I had to do was ask, listen and obey Him. God planned the rest of it. Right down to that thirty second response time.

God is good. He is the King of Awesome.

It is all in his timing.

I’ve done a lot for my soul today

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It has been a week since I left NYC for Upstate NY. I initially thought I would be picking up shifts at a few stores here in town, but so far, that has not happened. So, for this past week I have had a lot of time to myself. I live by myself in a huge apartment (by NYC standards anyway) and I don’t have a car here so I rely on my sister or father. Every morning I wake up, take my time getting ready, spend quiet time with God – praying and singing worship songs. It has been awesome.

A few posts back I talked about how I had done a lot for my stomach. Since then I have tried to do a lot for other things. My soul especially. I don’t know when it happened exactly, but I have stopped over-eating, I am eating healthier food and eating much less sugar.

I think I traded feeling full in my belly with feeling full in my spirit. Since finding out that I would be leaving for five weeks, I decided to try and spend as much time with the people I love most. Which, in the city, means friends, since I don’t have family there. When I spent more time on my relationships with others my relationship with myself grew. Seems a bit strange, but it totally makes sense to me now. When I spent more time in fellowship with others, I spent more time in fellowship with God and ultimately relinquishing control to God. It is actually quite freeing to not be in control. To let my creator have control again. He will always have my best interest at heart. He will never fail me. I will fail me. Other people will fail me. But, He, He will always have me.

I’m learning to love boldly. It’s still a struggle sometimes but, it sure is a wonderful journey. I am learning to love and honor my friends, and especially my family, BOLDLY, to ask for help BOLDLY, to face my fears BOLDLY, to go for what I want BOLDLY, and to let God take control BOLDLY.

Oh, goodness, that makes me excited. I just want to keep living boldly so that I keep my spirit alive and full.

More than ever, on this beautiful Resurrection Day, I hope you Enjoy Life.